Wolverine attends a funeral, I become relevant (not really)

I just got back from vacation, and while on said vacation, I saw The Wolverine

And I have to say, it is fucking awesome! It is basically Hugh Jackman reprising his role as Logan/Wolverine, being a bad-ass, like he do, in Japan where he has to deal with saying goodbye, a dying old man, a suicidal girl, and attending a funeral! But in all seriousness, its a bad ass movie. Infinitely better than Origins, because they didn't royally fuck up a beloved cult character in the marvel universe *cough cough*deadpool!*cough cough* If you do go to see this, make sure to stay through the credits, as there is a cool little extra footage partway into the credits. So yeah, there you go, I finally reviewed a current movie. You're welcome.

Neo in Hell?

(authors note: I am not endorsing any religion or religious belief. This is what the movie is, and all references to hell made by the author are made in a purely joking matter)

Just watched Constantine
























And I had forgotten how awesome of a movie this really was. I think that the depiction of Hell is an interesting one, definitely a non-traditional view of demons and the devil as well. Now, this is not a religious movie as far as making the audience want to go to church, or donate to the church or anything, but rather it just uses it as a basis for an awesome story line. Also, it has Keanu Reeves, so that just makes it fun to watch because its Neo. So, I say, watch this movie and get psyched. Couldn't think of any clever joke to put here, so instead I give you this: arctic monkey boob.

Never let David Fincher teach your children how to spell

I have recently watched Se7en, yes, that is how it is actually spelled, but pronounced as seven.

And yeah, it's a head trip. I would talk more about it, but I feel as though that would ruin some of the magic of watching it. All I'll say is that it is a psychological horror/thriller, and it's written by the same guy who did Fight Club, so that's a bit of a plus for anyone who has seen that film. And it has Morgan Freeman. A younger one, yes, but really that doesn't matter. He is still a bad ass. Also Brad Pitt before he was a giant douche. So yeah, go watch this and let it haunt your nightmares for a week.

We Cant Stop Here!

I just watched the Johnny Depp movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

 

It is a 119min. psychedelic movie version of the Hunter S. Thompson novel of the same name. Johnny Depp plays the main role of Raoul Duke, who was based on Thompson. Benicio Del Toro also shares a role as the psychopathic lawyer Dr. Gonzo. The amount of drugs the characters consume on screen is roughly equal to the amount you yourself need to ingest to follow the plot of this movie. The cinematography is... well, I suppose the best word that I can come with would be artistic. The acting is amazing, and the actual Hunter S. Thompson wrote the screenplay and has a brief cameo in the film. So yeah, I give this two roaches up. Now if you'll excuse me, i have a few bats to swat at.

Update

Also, I haven't been posting as much because this is a class project, and I want to keep it going because it is fun for me, but its hard to do that with school and stuff like that, so it will mostly be a periodical. I'll make a post at least once a month, and try to get some more in as time allows. So that's where we stand with this blog.

The period gets placed at the end.

I recently watched John Dies At The End

And no, despite what the poster may have you thinking, it is not an old campy 60s sci fi romp, it was actually made in 2012 and based off of a book of the same name. Anyway, now that we have the statistic fact stuff out of the way, we can get to what I like to do; give you my unsolicited, highly unprofessional opinion! It opens with a kind of scene that brings to mind fond memories of Fargo, Fight Club, and a good old zombie flick. Now, those things don't necessarily go together, and I understand that, but trust me, when you see it, you will know what I mean. Anyway, its got kind of a Fight Club type narrative, or maybe Flash Gordon, no, its more Zombieland, no, not really. Screw it, it has a narrative from the main character. That's all that really matters anyway. But yeah, its a good, trippy ass movie. I recommend watching it while either, A)under the influence of something, or B) late at night when going to Denny's and buying one of everything sounds like a perfectly good way to spend the majority of your money. So there it is, and, oh yeah, John Dies At The End.

Liam Neeson, Abductions, and Hollywood Bullshit

So, I just watched Taken 2

And well, yeah, its a thing. It has a basic hollywood sequel plot: Events of 1st movie have repercussions, and here they are. This time around, its the father of the people that Liam Neeson murdered in the first movie, and he wants revenge. The daughter from the first movie plays somewhat of a bigger role this time around, although, I found myself yelling "you dense motherfucker" at her multiple times due to the sheer stupidity which is her character. Also, it takes a good half, maybe even 2/5 of the movie before we get to see any of the Liam Neeson ass-kicking that we spent our money on. I give it a thumbs half. Good at points, but overall bad.

Ice Age.... When will it stop??

I just watched Ice Age: Continental Drift and..... well..... yeah, that's a thing unfortunately  they brought in some fresh hip new voices like Brad Pitt and Liam Neeson right? Well, yes..... but instead of respected actors they gave us shitty rappers. Like Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer right? No. They thought it was a great idea to give us Nikki Minaj and Drake. Why? Why do you do this to us? This was a nice, fun family movie, the second one was alright, and then by the third and now fourth movies, the audience wants to kill themselves. Way to ruin a great movie guys. Now I need to go watch Rambo whatever number they're on now.

Does Sly know what plot is?

Just watched The Expendables

And....... yeah, this is a great movie if you want to see a bunch of action stars blow shit up, beat people senseless, shoot and stab and otherwise destroy human beings, all while trying to make sense of Sylvester Stallone's impossible muttering, then this is the film that you have been waiting for! If you care at all about any form of a decent plot, well.... yeah just save your time and money and go rent The Usual Suspects or A Few Good Men or something like that, for this movie has nothing resembling a coherent plot line. But, seeing as it is directed by Sylvester Stallone, and the fact that he wrote part of it as well, that doesn't surprise me at all.

Monty Python and a preemptive strike.

just watched Monty Python And The Holy Grail

and thought that it was a well executed satire movie. while the troupe is british, they do a good job mixing the british style of humour, with the american slapstick humor. take the scene with the "bring out your dead" guy. its slapstick, but there are still subtleties that make british humour so distinctive.

and thats my unsolicited opinion on that movie. if you have any qualms with it, too bad. that is what i think, i am not a paid movie critic, im just some guy trying to offer a service. its free, you dont have to use it, so dont bitch.

hey guys, just made this thing, so here's a quick summary of what you can expect to see from me on this blog of awesomeness. i will be watching movies that i either own or can find on Netflix and giving you my unsolicited opinion on them. i will take requests, they just have to be on the Netflix instant queue. in the meantime, enjoy this random funny youtube video from Epic Rap Battles of History.

http://youtu.be/K5a_v0MP_Fk

just copy and paste that bad boy into your search bar thingy and laugh yo faces off.